But the best part of Christmas was Tav, mommy and daddy with Santa....Take a look at this picture:
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Auctavine's first Christmas..
Auctavine's first Christmas with mommy and daddy was good. He got some toys but not alot where we are getting ready to go back to the states. Which he will be having Christmas again when he gets to my parents house. So I am sure that he will have alot of TOYS!!
But the best part of Christmas was Tav, mommy and daddy with Santa....Take a look at this picture:
But the best part of Christmas was Tav, mommy and daddy with Santa....Take a look at this picture:
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Auctavine's first air plane ride and road trip
Actavine took his first plane ride on November 27, 2008. The little guy did great. He slept for almost the whole plane ride. He only cried a few times. He cried once because he was hungry and needed his diaper changed. Then after we took care of him he stayed up for a little while and tried to fight sleep which made him fussy. However he lost that fight and went back to sleep.
I was suprized at the fact that he did sleep on the whole plane ride. Jesse was just as suprized as me. The only thing that Tav really did not like was landing. He screamed his little head off when we were going to land. Jesse was better at getting him calm then I was. I think it was the fact that mommy hates landing too!!
Friday, November 21, 2008
November is a sad month for me...
When ever Thanksgiving comes around I always get sad. It is one of the hardest holidays for me. It was 16 years ago on November 29, 1992 that I lost my Grandfater Wildes. I spent alot of time at my Grandparents house while my mother and father worked during the summer. In the winter time I was at school but during the summer mom needed some place for my brother, sister and I to stay at. Most of the time I was the only one who stated at our Grandparents house. My brother and sister were older and mom let them stay at home because the neighbors would keep an eye on them.
Any way I spent all my summers from the time I can remember up till the summer of 1990 with my Grandmother and Grandfather. My grandparents were the best. They had a little plastic swiming pool that every morning my Grandfater would take out and put it in the back yard near my Grandmothers garden. He would fill it with water so that it would warm up with the rising sun. Then after he was done with that he would head down to his work shop.
He would spend the whole day in his work shop from shortly after breakfest till lunch time and then he would head back down to his work shop after lunch till dinner time. While he was in his work shop he would be working on different things with wood. In 1985 my Grandfater made me a doll house out of wood. I still have it to this day. It is my little dream house. I was the first of all his Grandchildren to get a doll house from him. Not only did my Grandfather make a doll house for me but he had made a shelve for my sister and I when we lived in a trailer and had to share a room. That shelve held all of our dolls and all the stuff animals that I had. Every thing he made he did it with love.
I miss him so much that when the holiday season comes around it is hard on me. The first christmas after the passing of my Grandfather my Grandmother spent christmas with my family and she gave me a gift that not only brought tears to my eyes but also the rest of my family. I will never forget that christmas for the rest of my life. The gift my Grandmother gave me was a boxed shelve with doors that had hearts cut in to both doors and three on each. I had asked my Grandfather for one before he passed but he was not done with them. He wanted to close the back of shelve but he got too sick before he could finish it.
It does not bother me that it was never finished because it is one of the last few things that my Grandfather made before his lung cancer got the best of him. The hardest part was the last few months my Grandfather was alive. Every time I saw him you could tell just how sick he was. I try so hard not to remember those last few months because the man that I looked up to and loved so much was in such pain. The last few times that I saw him he had trouble walking, his breathing was more shallow and when we ate it took him longer to eat then the rest of us if he even ate at all.
But I try to remember the times when he had big old smile on his face. I try to remember the time that my dad got alot of lobster because of a truck that rolled over on the Maine Turnpike and had lost its load. We had so much lobster that my parents gave it away to alot of people because of freezer was full. I have one of the best pictures of my Grandfater with a nice boiled lobster and a great smile on his face. I would post it with this blog but it is back in the states with my parents in the box of photo's I have. When we get back and I find it in all that stuff I will get Jesse to scan it and post it with this blog so you can see the man I looked up to, love alot and miss like crazy.
I miss driving along the beach in Maine with my Grandparents just to look at the tide and see all the people. I miss going to the mall with them. During the trip to the mall Grandpa would sit and watch all the people walking around while my Grandma and I would go shoping. I even miss listening to my Grandma give my Grandpa a hard time. That man just let my Grandma say what ever. He was such a laid back guy. After he passed away it was hard for me to spend time at my Grandmothers house. Not having him there when I was there was hard. I feel bad that I did not spend that much time at my Grandmothers after my Grandfather passed but I think she understood. My brother stayed with my Grandmother from the time my Grandpa passed till Novmerber 1993 when he joined the Marine Corp.
Then shortly after that in the summer of 1994 my parents, sister and I all moved because of my fathers job. It was hard for my mom, Grandmother and I but my Grandmother told my dad to take the job in Ohio. She supported my parents and loved us alot. After we left my Grandmothers health started going down hill. She lived till August 28, 1997. That day was the day of my Grandfathers birthday and is the day my Grandmother passed on. So the two people that I looked up to the most and respected passed away before I ever graduated high school.
I had always dreamed of them being at all the important things in my life, Graduation from high school, graduation from college, getting married and the birth of there great grandchildren. Even though they have passed on I know that they are still here with me in my heart. I know that they saw my graduation from high school, me joining the Marine Corp, getting my AA degree, my wedding and the birth of Auctavine. I know that they will see him grow up and some times when I look at him I think I see my Grandfather smiling back at me.
I try so hard to remember the good times and keep my head high because that is how my Grandfather and Grandmother would want me to be. Only this year my head is hanging a little low because of the news about Jesse's Granddad. I pray that this Thanksgiving will not be like the one I had back in 1992. I hope and pray that Jesse's Granddad will get better but I know that with old age and every thing going on that may not happen but still I hope for the best because that is all I can do for now.
Any way I spent all my summers from the time I can remember up till the summer of 1990 with my Grandmother and Grandfather. My grandparents were the best. They had a little plastic swiming pool that every morning my Grandfater would take out and put it in the back yard near my Grandmothers garden. He would fill it with water so that it would warm up with the rising sun. Then after he was done with that he would head down to his work shop.
He would spend the whole day in his work shop from shortly after breakfest till lunch time and then he would head back down to his work shop after lunch till dinner time. While he was in his work shop he would be working on different things with wood. In 1985 my Grandfater made me a doll house out of wood. I still have it to this day. It is my little dream house. I was the first of all his Grandchildren to get a doll house from him. Not only did my Grandfather make a doll house for me but he had made a shelve for my sister and I when we lived in a trailer and had to share a room. That shelve held all of our dolls and all the stuff animals that I had. Every thing he made he did it with love.
I miss him so much that when the holiday season comes around it is hard on me. The first christmas after the passing of my Grandfather my Grandmother spent christmas with my family and she gave me a gift that not only brought tears to my eyes but also the rest of my family. I will never forget that christmas for the rest of my life. The gift my Grandmother gave me was a boxed shelve with doors that had hearts cut in to both doors and three on each. I had asked my Grandfather for one before he passed but he was not done with them. He wanted to close the back of shelve but he got too sick before he could finish it.
It does not bother me that it was never finished because it is one of the last few things that my Grandfather made before his lung cancer got the best of him. The hardest part was the last few months my Grandfather was alive. Every time I saw him you could tell just how sick he was. I try so hard not to remember those last few months because the man that I looked up to and loved so much was in such pain. The last few times that I saw him he had trouble walking, his breathing was more shallow and when we ate it took him longer to eat then the rest of us if he even ate at all.
But I try to remember the times when he had big old smile on his face. I try to remember the time that my dad got alot of lobster because of a truck that rolled over on the Maine Turnpike and had lost its load. We had so much lobster that my parents gave it away to alot of people because of freezer was full. I have one of the best pictures of my Grandfater with a nice boiled lobster and a great smile on his face. I would post it with this blog but it is back in the states with my parents in the box of photo's I have. When we get back and I find it in all that stuff I will get Jesse to scan it and post it with this blog so you can see the man I looked up to, love alot and miss like crazy.
I miss driving along the beach in Maine with my Grandparents just to look at the tide and see all the people. I miss going to the mall with them. During the trip to the mall Grandpa would sit and watch all the people walking around while my Grandma and I would go shoping. I even miss listening to my Grandma give my Grandpa a hard time. That man just let my Grandma say what ever. He was such a laid back guy. After he passed away it was hard for me to spend time at my Grandmothers house. Not having him there when I was there was hard. I feel bad that I did not spend that much time at my Grandmothers after my Grandfather passed but I think she understood. My brother stayed with my Grandmother from the time my Grandpa passed till Novmerber 1993 when he joined the Marine Corp.
Then shortly after that in the summer of 1994 my parents, sister and I all moved because of my fathers job. It was hard for my mom, Grandmother and I but my Grandmother told my dad to take the job in Ohio. She supported my parents and loved us alot. After we left my Grandmothers health started going down hill. She lived till August 28, 1997. That day was the day of my Grandfathers birthday and is the day my Grandmother passed on. So the two people that I looked up to the most and respected passed away before I ever graduated high school.
I had always dreamed of them being at all the important things in my life, Graduation from high school, graduation from college, getting married and the birth of there great grandchildren. Even though they have passed on I know that they are still here with me in my heart. I know that they saw my graduation from high school, me joining the Marine Corp, getting my AA degree, my wedding and the birth of Auctavine. I know that they will see him grow up and some times when I look at him I think I see my Grandfather smiling back at me.
I try so hard to remember the good times and keep my head high because that is how my Grandfather and Grandmother would want me to be. Only this year my head is hanging a little low because of the news about Jesse's Granddad. I pray that this Thanksgiving will not be like the one I had back in 1992. I hope and pray that Jesse's Granddad will get better but I know that with old age and every thing going on that may not happen but still I hope for the best because that is all I can do for now.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Auctavine eatting baby food!!
Auctavine has been eating baby food for a month now but daddy has only got to feed the boy a few times. The following clip is one of the times daddy was feeding the boy. It is cute and you should have a look.
As you can see I had to take over and this is what happened.
As you can see I had to take over and this is what happened.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Two years ago today...
It is hard to believe that two years ago today Jesse and I got married!! It does not feel like we have been married that long but we have. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
I was so scared that he would not be there to get me from the air port on November 11, 2006 but he was there with a single red rose. I had only taken little cat naps here and there on my 14 hour plain ride from Okinawa, Japan to Arizona all because of my fear which seeing him I knew every thing would go as we planed. Or so I thought but Jesse had made other plans!!
When we parted in September for him to go back to the states for training we had made plans to get married in LasVages but Jesse knew it would mean more to me if my dad could walk me down the esile and give my hand in marriage. So Jesse got in touch with both our mothers and sisters to ask them to help him give me the wedding I dreamed of since I was a little girl by having my father give my hand in marriage.
To be honest Jesse gave me more then what I ever dreamed of that cold day in November. He had got my parents, sister, niece and nephew from Ohio to Arizona. My older brother helped out by driving up from Yuma to Flagstaff with both his cars so that my whole family would be at my wedding. The whole time he never told me that my family would be there. My older brother kept telling me that he would be there no matter what but I was like no it is not fair. Boy was I so fooled.
Any way Jesse got me from the airport with our friend Jenna (she was going to be our witness in Vages) and took the long way to Flagstaff. He did that because he had a spot picked out to offically ask me to marry him. I was going to get my ring but that had to wait till I met his family because the place was closed. All I wanted to do was take a nap but never had time because we only had an hour before we had to be at sizzler for dinner with his mom and Tom.
That was a great night even though I was tired. Not only did I met Jesse's mom Lee and Tom but I also met his two sisters and there family. Plus I got the shock of my life!!! There at sizzler sitting in front of us when his family wanted a picture of the two of us sat my dad, mom, sister, brother, sister-in-law, both my nieces and all three of my nephews. I cried. Jesse made me so happy that all I could do was cry. They were not tears of sadness but tears of JOY!! Jesse went out of his way to make sure my dad was there. That all happened on November 11.
Then on November 13, 2006 at around one or two in the afternoon after a cold morning of pictures. My father walked me down the esile to marry Jesse. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Shortly after that we came back to Okinawa and were only together here for about a month before he left for Iraq.
We spent about nine months out of our first year apart but during that time it brought us closer. He returned two months before our one year anniversary but it did not really feel like we had been married for a year because of the time away from each other, however, this past year it has. A month after he got home we found out we were going to be parents.
That was joyful news. Jesse wanted to be around for the pregnancy and birth of our first child. He was around for the most of the pregnancy and he did not miss out on the 42 hours in the hospital for the induced labor the doctors put me through so that Auctavine could come in to this world on June 10, 2008. The second happiest day of my life. So I don't think Jesse and I have done too bad for being married two years.
Granted I never said any thing about our bumps or hard spots on our road of marriage because that is part of the trip. It is better to talk about the good times because those out weight the bad. I just can not believe we have been married two years and have a five month three day old little baby boy!! Where ever does the time go??
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
What more can I say but...
I want to thank Chrystal for making my blog page so cool!! I love the pictures you picked of Jesse, Tav and me. I wish I knew how to do this stuff but I am very lucky to have a sweet and loving sister-in-law like you who made our blog page look so cool!! Thank you so much!!
I don't know what more I can say!! THANK YOU!!
I don't know what more I can say!! THANK YOU!!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Tick or Treat
Last night was Tav's first Halloween and well we did not go "Trick or Treating". I thought what was the point taking Tav out? I mean any and all candy he would get he could not eat and besides he got to wear his Stitch costume on October 30 for a Halloween party that Jesse's unit had.
Which at first I felt bad putting Tav in his costume because Jesse was deployed and would not get to see Tav dressed as Stitch. Boy was I wrong. Jesse got to come home two days early and did not tell me. That BRAT had one of his fellow sargents call me to see if I was going to the party. I did not think any thing of the phone call. I had planed on going because they had a chili cook off and I had entered my dads chili.
Well after I had got it. Which that alone is another blog. Any way back to October 30. As I was at Jesse's unit's Halloween party I had asked Laura & Roger to watch Tav while I went to get something to eat. It was a good thing I asked them to watch Tav cause I might have dropped him when Jesse walked up behind me and said hello beautiful. I was lucky that I had put down the ketchup because that would have been a mess. Any way when I turned around Jesse had a red and pink rose in his hand for me.
Not only did he have that for me but I got a much needed HUG and KISS!! I needed a hug from him because this deployment was hard for me. I had not one 24 hour duty but two and I had to ask some one to watch Tav for over 24 hours. You see duty starts at 0800 and does not end till 1130 the next day. Which suck for people with kids. I learned that this past month. It is not so bad when Jesse is here but with him being gone and well Tav having to stay at another person house all night I feel bad.
Tav should not have to be with some one who is not his family over night at such a young age. It is different when a child is older but not when they are a baby or toddler. That is just wrong but what can I do the Marine Corp IS NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY!! Even more so when you are both active duty and I wonder how it is when your a single parent. I don't even know how people who are single parents do it. I can not stand to be away from Tav for just a normal work day.
Wait there is no NORMAL work day in the Marine Corp. So let me restate that. I can not stand to be away from Tav from 0645 to 1630 (4:30 pm) or 1700 (5 pm). Some times my day is even longer then that where Tav sometimes has to stay with the sitter till 1800 (6 pm) so he is there for almost 12 hours out of the day. So you can see why I was excited to see Jesse on October 30.
Then for Halloween we went out for dinner and to visit a friend. It was nice and beside Tav would have been fussy the whole time we were "Trick or Treating" because he is in bed no later then 2000 (8 pm) lately. To night he was in bed by 1900 (7 pm) which is around the same time he got fussy last night and for us to go "Trick or Treating" we would have been half way done. They were only allowing us to "Trick or Treat" from 1800 (6 pm) to 2000 (8 pm). So that is why we did not take him out and besides he got to be Stitch the day before so it was all good. I even got pictures of him dressed like Stitch.
They are cute and if I knew how to post pictures on here I would but I am still learning and that is something I have yet to learn. I will but for now I can write. Well it's late and I need to go to bed. Good night all.
Which at first I felt bad putting Tav in his costume because Jesse was deployed and would not get to see Tav dressed as Stitch. Boy was I wrong. Jesse got to come home two days early and did not tell me. That BRAT had one of his fellow sargents call me to see if I was going to the party. I did not think any thing of the phone call. I had planed on going because they had a chili cook off and I had entered my dads chili.
Well after I had got it. Which that alone is another blog. Any way back to October 30. As I was at Jesse's unit's Halloween party I had asked Laura & Roger to watch Tav while I went to get something to eat. It was a good thing I asked them to watch Tav cause I might have dropped him when Jesse walked up behind me and said hello beautiful. I was lucky that I had put down the ketchup because that would have been a mess. Any way when I turned around Jesse had a red and pink rose in his hand for me.
Not only did he have that for me but I got a much needed HUG and KISS!! I needed a hug from him because this deployment was hard for me. I had not one 24 hour duty but two and I had to ask some one to watch Tav for over 24 hours. You see duty starts at 0800 and does not end till 1130 the next day. Which suck for people with kids. I learned that this past month. It is not so bad when Jesse is here but with him being gone and well Tav having to stay at another person house all night I feel bad.
Tav should not have to be with some one who is not his family over night at such a young age. It is different when a child is older but not when they are a baby or toddler. That is just wrong but what can I do the Marine Corp IS NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY!! Even more so when you are both active duty and I wonder how it is when your a single parent. I don't even know how people who are single parents do it. I can not stand to be away from Tav for just a normal work day.
Wait there is no NORMAL work day in the Marine Corp. So let me restate that. I can not stand to be away from Tav from 0645 to 1630 (4:30 pm) or 1700 (5 pm). Some times my day is even longer then that where Tav sometimes has to stay with the sitter till 1800 (6 pm) so he is there for almost 12 hours out of the day. So you can see why I was excited to see Jesse on October 30.
Then for Halloween we went out for dinner and to visit a friend. It was nice and beside Tav would have been fussy the whole time we were "Trick or Treating" because he is in bed no later then 2000 (8 pm) lately. To night he was in bed by 1900 (7 pm) which is around the same time he got fussy last night and for us to go "Trick or Treating" we would have been half way done. They were only allowing us to "Trick or Treat" from 1800 (6 pm) to 2000 (8 pm). So that is why we did not take him out and besides he got to be Stitch the day before so it was all good. I even got pictures of him dressed like Stitch.
They are cute and if I knew how to post pictures on here I would but I am still learning and that is something I have yet to learn. I will but for now I can write. Well it's late and I need to go to bed. Good night all.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Holiday Cards and an address book
Where Jesse is deployed and Tav is in bed between 7 pm and 9 pm, I have had time to clean the house before going to bed. Well last night I figured I would sit down and start filling out the envelopes for our holiday cards to be sent out. I am really on top of things because we had pictures taken in August for our cards. I did that only because I did not know how our training would be. I know that once my unit is back from this deployment that Jesse is on too they jump right in to another training exercise. Which I think I may be on. I just have to see.
Any way so last night as I was sitting there writing out the envelopes I knoticed that I have done a very bad job of keeping up with my family's addresses. I have done a good job of making sure I have Jesse's brother Matt's and his father's address, however when it comes to my extended family I do not have every ones address. I am missing all of my dad's siblings addresses. I feel bad but I sent my dad's sister an email asking her for my uncle's addresses. I don't know why I don't have all my uncle's addresses but for some reason I don't.
Along with those addresses I know that some of our friends have moved and I have got there new addresses. But I still feel funny that here it is October and I am filling out envelopes for our holiday cards, however I like to try and be on top of things so that I don't get stressed out. That is the last thing I need to do now that Tav is around. I like to be calm and have fun with him not all tired out and stressed out. But that is not here nor there.
So I am hopeing that come November 15 I will have all our holiday cards in the mail with holiday stamps on them. I know it will take some time to fill out all the envelopes, put the holiday card in them, and then stamp them but I am hoping to have almost all of that done before Jesse gets home. Every thing up till putting a stamp on them. That way when Jesse is home I can take an hour here and there to put the stamps on them and dropping them in the mail box is easy. I can drive up to the blue box and in they go. It's just getting them to that point that is where all the work is.
So not only am I getting my holiday cards ready I am also updating my address book. Which is a good thing. That way come next year I hopefully will only have to double check with people on there addresses and then do our holiday cards a little later then October!! Well Tav and I need to get going. We stilll have to get birthday cards for my mom which will be late only because I have lost track of the days and don't want to do that with the holiday cards because they will never make it out. Well we are off. Later people
Any way so last night as I was sitting there writing out the envelopes I knoticed that I have done a very bad job of keeping up with my family's addresses. I have done a good job of making sure I have Jesse's brother Matt's and his father's address, however when it comes to my extended family I do not have every ones address. I am missing all of my dad's siblings addresses. I feel bad but I sent my dad's sister an email asking her for my uncle's addresses. I don't know why I don't have all my uncle's addresses but for some reason I don't.
Along with those addresses I know that some of our friends have moved and I have got there new addresses. But I still feel funny that here it is October and I am filling out envelopes for our holiday cards, however I like to try and be on top of things so that I don't get stressed out. That is the last thing I need to do now that Tav is around. I like to be calm and have fun with him not all tired out and stressed out. But that is not here nor there.
So I am hopeing that come November 15 I will have all our holiday cards in the mail with holiday stamps on them. I know it will take some time to fill out all the envelopes, put the holiday card in them, and then stamp them but I am hoping to have almost all of that done before Jesse gets home. Every thing up till putting a stamp on them. That way when Jesse is home I can take an hour here and there to put the stamps on them and dropping them in the mail box is easy. I can drive up to the blue box and in they go. It's just getting them to that point that is where all the work is.
So not only am I getting my holiday cards ready I am also updating my address book. Which is a good thing. That way come next year I hopefully will only have to double check with people on there addresses and then do our holiday cards a little later then October!! Well Tav and I need to get going. We stilll have to get birthday cards for my mom which will be late only because I have lost track of the days and don't want to do that with the holiday cards because they will never make it out. Well we are off. Later people
Monday, October 20, 2008
Wishing I was any where but here!!!
Ever since Auctavine was born I have started to hate the Marine Corp. Well the past week was the straw that broke the camels back and things just seem to be getting under my skin more. I can handle dealing with Orders and Directives that I think are unfair but when the Marine Corp comes between me and my family thats it.
My family is very important to me and they will always be. Now that I have my own little family that is where my responsiblity is. It is my husbands and my job as parents to make sure our son is taken care of no matter what. We are responsible for keeping a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food in his month. I know my parents always said something like that but I know roof, clothes and food were in it.
Any way deployments are hard on a person depending on where it is and if they are single or married. However no matter where one goes there is a way to call your loved ones. Some deployments are easier with talking to people back home where others are not. Take for example Iraq that is one place where your so busy and have different things going on that you might be able to talk to a love one every two or three weeks. Some times you go longer then that just depending on what you are doing. Then there are other deployments that are only a month or two long but you get to stay in hotels, have internet conection and phones. Those deployments make it easier to talk to loved ones.
Well one would think that it would be easier, however this deployment that is not the case. Some one decieded that the best punshiment for my husband would be to take away the hotel room except to shower once a day, the internet and phone. They also told my husband that they did not care what he had going on back here in Okinawa.
That to me is a shitty leader. That person is not looking out for my husband as a Marine. That there makes me want out really bad. I am no longer proud to say that I am a United States Marine. Which is funny because of all the things that have happened over here to give not just the Marine Corp a bad name but also the United States. I am more upset over the leadership.
That is where the problem is in the Marine Corp. People are too afraid to tell a Marine your not ready for the next rank. Instead they promot them up from the Lance Corporal rank to Corporal when they still act and preform as a Lance Corporal. Then while the are in the Non-Conmissioned officer ranks (Corporal and Sargent) they make there way to Staff Sargent and then Gunnery Sargent. From there they move up to Master Sargent or First Sargent. By the time they reach Master Sargent or First Sargent they have learned how to be a good leader and Marine. Well at least you would think that but its not always true.
Some people don't know how to be a leader becasue they let other things get in the way of there judgment. Things like friendship and there personal feeling about the lesser ranking Marine. The Marine Corp is a job but for some it is there life. This is all they know and will ever know because they are scared to get out. I am not scared to get out. I know that our economy is bad but I got a plan and a wonderful support group.
But enough about me back to the Marine Corp and how I wish I did not have the title U.S. Marine. The beging of the month my husband left for a deployment. Which is fine thats part of the job. Well where I am active duty I still have things that I need to do for the Marine Corp that take me away from Auctavine for 24 plus hours. Its called duty. Which I have no problem standing as long as my little boy is taken care of. So there is problem number one and I have duty three times this month. One of my duties I had some one to watch him over night but the next two coming up are in the air on who will watch him and I don't want some one I don't know watching him. It is like the Marine Corp does not care about a Marine's family.
That is so wrong because family for most Marine's is there motovation. I know mine is but lately when I get up I dont want to put on my camies and drop my son off with another person to watch him. I have to be at work at crazy hours and then some nights I wonder what time I will be able to get my son. It so does not help that I have a small case of post partum blues. So being home with Auctavine and no husband really makes me want out. That way I dont have to stress about finding a sitter to watch my child, who is my responsiblity over night. I so do not know how single moms do it. I am just not as strong as them, I guess.
Well that is how I feel with my husband deployed. But I am just trying to make it till the day I get out Febuary 19, 2010. I am going to try and ask to get out January 1, 2010 so that I can start school and finely finish my degree!! I would really like to be a teacher!! That would be more of a rewarding job then being a Marine.
My family is very important to me and they will always be. Now that I have my own little family that is where my responsiblity is. It is my husbands and my job as parents to make sure our son is taken care of no matter what. We are responsible for keeping a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food in his month. I know my parents always said something like that but I know roof, clothes and food were in it.
Any way deployments are hard on a person depending on where it is and if they are single or married. However no matter where one goes there is a way to call your loved ones. Some deployments are easier with talking to people back home where others are not. Take for example Iraq that is one place where your so busy and have different things going on that you might be able to talk to a love one every two or three weeks. Some times you go longer then that just depending on what you are doing. Then there are other deployments that are only a month or two long but you get to stay in hotels, have internet conection and phones. Those deployments make it easier to talk to loved ones.
Well one would think that it would be easier, however this deployment that is not the case. Some one decieded that the best punshiment for my husband would be to take away the hotel room except to shower once a day, the internet and phone. They also told my husband that they did not care what he had going on back here in Okinawa.
That to me is a shitty leader. That person is not looking out for my husband as a Marine. That there makes me want out really bad. I am no longer proud to say that I am a United States Marine. Which is funny because of all the things that have happened over here to give not just the Marine Corp a bad name but also the United States. I am more upset over the leadership.
That is where the problem is in the Marine Corp. People are too afraid to tell a Marine your not ready for the next rank. Instead they promot them up from the Lance Corporal rank to Corporal when they still act and preform as a Lance Corporal. Then while the are in the Non-Conmissioned officer ranks (Corporal and Sargent) they make there way to Staff Sargent and then Gunnery Sargent. From there they move up to Master Sargent or First Sargent. By the time they reach Master Sargent or First Sargent they have learned how to be a good leader and Marine. Well at least you would think that but its not always true.
Some people don't know how to be a leader becasue they let other things get in the way of there judgment. Things like friendship and there personal feeling about the lesser ranking Marine. The Marine Corp is a job but for some it is there life. This is all they know and will ever know because they are scared to get out. I am not scared to get out. I know that our economy is bad but I got a plan and a wonderful support group.
But enough about me back to the Marine Corp and how I wish I did not have the title U.S. Marine. The beging of the month my husband left for a deployment. Which is fine thats part of the job. Well where I am active duty I still have things that I need to do for the Marine Corp that take me away from Auctavine for 24 plus hours. Its called duty. Which I have no problem standing as long as my little boy is taken care of. So there is problem number one and I have duty three times this month. One of my duties I had some one to watch him over night but the next two coming up are in the air on who will watch him and I don't want some one I don't know watching him. It is like the Marine Corp does not care about a Marine's family.
That is so wrong because family for most Marine's is there motovation. I know mine is but lately when I get up I dont want to put on my camies and drop my son off with another person to watch him. I have to be at work at crazy hours and then some nights I wonder what time I will be able to get my son. It so does not help that I have a small case of post partum blues. So being home with Auctavine and no husband really makes me want out. That way I dont have to stress about finding a sitter to watch my child, who is my responsiblity over night. I so do not know how single moms do it. I am just not as strong as them, I guess.
Well that is how I feel with my husband deployed. But I am just trying to make it till the day I get out Febuary 19, 2010. I am going to try and ask to get out January 1, 2010 so that I can start school and finely finish my degree!! I would really like to be a teacher!! That would be more of a rewarding job then being a Marine.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Something I have learned in the past few days...
So being home alone with Tav I have been spending alot of time cleaning my house and talking to new friends, old friends and family online. So much is going on in life for my friends, family and me that its hard to keep track of it all but one thing is for sure "Why does some one get jealous of another?"
Jesse and I have two people in our life that are going through a hard time right now. One is having issues with there love life and will be single again. The other one is looking back at there life wishing they had done the things they wanted to do but made the choice to have a family instead. However out of the two of them they are jealous of me.
The one who is having issues is jealous because I got a loving, wonderful husband and a handsome little boy. The other one is jealous of me because I did not get married to my husband till I was 27 and just started having my family at the age of 28. Funny thing is I am jealous of them too.
The one who is having issues is about to get there single life back and I miss mine. So I am jealous of the fact that she can come and go as she pleases but I would not trade my husband or son for anything. As for the other one who is jealous of how long I waited to have my family, I am jealous of them because they started at a young age because it was easy for them to find the one they were ment for.
I did not by choice wait to get married and start my family. I just waited for some one who would love me for me and I love them the same. That is why I got married at 27 and I always wanted a baby but wanted to be married so I waited till I was married for a baby. Which I did not expect for us to get pregnant so soon. I figured it would take some time. Boy was I wrong but I love my boys alot and I am blessed to have them.
So what if I can not come and go as I please any more. I got to guys who love me alot. One who made the choice and the other I brought in to this crazy world. So I am glad that I had to wait till later in life for my family because I got some one who really cares about me. Even if I get the feeling like he doesn't at times, he still does love me. It's all part of life but one thing I have learned in the past few days is that we all get jealous over some one for some reason or another.
The key to it is to remember what you got and who loves you. That and who is what matters most. Jealousy just grows too big if you sit and let it. It can be a good thing but only if you don't let it take control of your life. It helps to keep a spark of love in your life because it helps your special some one know that you care a great deal about them. However if you just sit and let it grow you get jealous of every one and every thing and that is not healthy. But I am just glad I can be jealous a little and let it go.
I will let go of the fact that I am jealous of these two because one is free to do as they please and the other one is set in there family. I maybe jealous of things about them but I am very happy with what I got!! Thats what matters most being happy with what I got and who I am.
Which I am still trying to figure out who I am now a days. I mean between my husband, son and the Marine Corp I have no time for me any more. Or so it seems. Since my husband has been deployed I have been able to clean the house and do somethings that I use to do before Tav came along. So I have been finding a little of me and I hope that soon I will know the new me.
Thats all I am doing is growing and changing. Something we all do every day. We are all learning something new and changing. It's not always a drastic change but there is a change every day of our lives. Well I think I have gone on enough with my thoughts for today. Until the next time...Later people!!
Jesse and I have two people in our life that are going through a hard time right now. One is having issues with there love life and will be single again. The other one is looking back at there life wishing they had done the things they wanted to do but made the choice to have a family instead. However out of the two of them they are jealous of me.
The one who is having issues is jealous because I got a loving, wonderful husband and a handsome little boy. The other one is jealous of me because I did not get married to my husband till I was 27 and just started having my family at the age of 28. Funny thing is I am jealous of them too.
The one who is having issues is about to get there single life back and I miss mine. So I am jealous of the fact that she can come and go as she pleases but I would not trade my husband or son for anything. As for the other one who is jealous of how long I waited to have my family, I am jealous of them because they started at a young age because it was easy for them to find the one they were ment for.
I did not by choice wait to get married and start my family. I just waited for some one who would love me for me and I love them the same. That is why I got married at 27 and I always wanted a baby but wanted to be married so I waited till I was married for a baby. Which I did not expect for us to get pregnant so soon. I figured it would take some time. Boy was I wrong but I love my boys alot and I am blessed to have them.
So what if I can not come and go as I please any more. I got to guys who love me alot. One who made the choice and the other I brought in to this crazy world. So I am glad that I had to wait till later in life for my family because I got some one who really cares about me. Even if I get the feeling like he doesn't at times, he still does love me. It's all part of life but one thing I have learned in the past few days is that we all get jealous over some one for some reason or another.
The key to it is to remember what you got and who loves you. That and who is what matters most. Jealousy just grows too big if you sit and let it. It can be a good thing but only if you don't let it take control of your life. It helps to keep a spark of love in your life because it helps your special some one know that you care a great deal about them. However if you just sit and let it grow you get jealous of every one and every thing and that is not healthy. But I am just glad I can be jealous a little and let it go.
I will let go of the fact that I am jealous of these two because one is free to do as they please and the other one is set in there family. I maybe jealous of things about them but I am very happy with what I got!! Thats what matters most being happy with what I got and who I am.
Which I am still trying to figure out who I am now a days. I mean between my husband, son and the Marine Corp I have no time for me any more. Or so it seems. Since my husband has been deployed I have been able to clean the house and do somethings that I use to do before Tav came along. So I have been finding a little of me and I hope that soon I will know the new me.
Thats all I am doing is growing and changing. Something we all do every day. We are all learning something new and changing. It's not always a drastic change but there is a change every day of our lives. Well I think I have gone on enough with my thoughts for today. Until the next time...Later people!!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Home alone with Tav
So Jesse left for a deployment to the Phillipines shortly after my birthday. Tav and I have been home for a few weeks by our self. So far so good, I guess. Tav is a happy easy going baby, which is good but as for me...I miss Jesse alot. It's lonely with him gone. I have Tav to talk to but he only coo's back. I miss hearing another voice in this house.
It's strange to me but this deployment is hitting me harder then when he was deployed to Iraq and his last deployment just before Tav was born. I think it is because we have a family now. Before it was just me and I could leave the house easily but now I have to think about Tav before I leave to go any where. I can remember just getting out of the house at all kinds of hours and hanging out with friends. Not so much when I was pregnant because all I wanted to do was sleep but even now I can only sleep when Tav sleeps. If I do want to go any where I have to think about the time and where I am going to make sure that Tav is awake and it's some place he can go.
Tonight we left the house at around 8:30 pm to go to the pharmacy at the hospital because I forgot to pick up Tav's refill of infant tylonal. So spelled that wrong. Any way it was close to his just after his bed time but he did not want to sleep just yet. Well it was nice to get out of this boring house and do that. Granted it was a quick drive there and a quick drive back but I kinda took the longer way home by driving past our road and truning at the next light. It helped to put the boy to sleep. That and the baby lulaby (again the spelling) CD that my mom got us which I have in the car for when he is crying and it's hard to tend to him right away. It always puts him to sleep. Which was nice because he went from his carseat to bed when we got home. I was smart and had put him in his PJs before we left so that if he did fall asleep he was all ready for bed.
But any way WE (Jesse and I) are still adjusting to parenthood and well I know I miss some things about when it was just the two of us but I love our son. I miss the fact that we could do what ever when ever but at the same time I am glad that we gave it up because we have such a beautiful loving baby boy. Tav is the only reason why I still have a HUGE smile on my face. If that little guy was not around my smile would not be so big.
It seems like he is always doing something new. Like this week after his 4 month appointment I started him out on rice cereal. The first feeding I waited way too long to feed him even though I knew he was getting hungry. See he eats about every 4 hours some times its less then that but most of the time its around 4 hours from his last feeding. Any way when I did try to feed him the cereal he cried and cried and cried. I tried to record it but with the way he was crying I don't think I will send it out to any one and besides it's on my newer laptop but something is wrong with my power cord. So I can not get to it any way.
However he is doing good on his feeding of rice cereal but I dont know if he likes the spoon that much. I just hope that some time this coming week we can try some veggies. The doctor and my mom told me to start with them and not fruit because of how sweet they are. Which I can understand that. So we will have to see how he does with the cereal and then move on from there. The only thing is I am the one that gets to have the food spit out on me and not daddy. By the time Jesse gets home Tav should be eatting veggies, I hope, and when he goes to feed Tav he will get a better reaction unless I have him feed Tav some new veggie or fruit. Which I just might so that Jesse knows what it feels like to get food spit at him...LOL...besides it would be funny to see:P !!
Any way that is how things are going here. So until the next night when I am bored out of my mind and Tav is sleeping...Good night every one. We love and miss you all!!!
It's strange to me but this deployment is hitting me harder then when he was deployed to Iraq and his last deployment just before Tav was born. I think it is because we have a family now. Before it was just me and I could leave the house easily but now I have to think about Tav before I leave to go any where. I can remember just getting out of the house at all kinds of hours and hanging out with friends. Not so much when I was pregnant because all I wanted to do was sleep but even now I can only sleep when Tav sleeps. If I do want to go any where I have to think about the time and where I am going to make sure that Tav is awake and it's some place he can go.
Tonight we left the house at around 8:30 pm to go to the pharmacy at the hospital because I forgot to pick up Tav's refill of infant tylonal. So spelled that wrong. Any way it was close to his just after his bed time but he did not want to sleep just yet. Well it was nice to get out of this boring house and do that. Granted it was a quick drive there and a quick drive back but I kinda took the longer way home by driving past our road and truning at the next light. It helped to put the boy to sleep. That and the baby lulaby (again the spelling) CD that my mom got us which I have in the car for when he is crying and it's hard to tend to him right away. It always puts him to sleep. Which was nice because he went from his carseat to bed when we got home. I was smart and had put him in his PJs before we left so that if he did fall asleep he was all ready for bed.
But any way WE (Jesse and I) are still adjusting to parenthood and well I know I miss some things about when it was just the two of us but I love our son. I miss the fact that we could do what ever when ever but at the same time I am glad that we gave it up because we have such a beautiful loving baby boy. Tav is the only reason why I still have a HUGE smile on my face. If that little guy was not around my smile would not be so big.
It seems like he is always doing something new. Like this week after his 4 month appointment I started him out on rice cereal. The first feeding I waited way too long to feed him even though I knew he was getting hungry. See he eats about every 4 hours some times its less then that but most of the time its around 4 hours from his last feeding. Any way when I did try to feed him the cereal he cried and cried and cried. I tried to record it but with the way he was crying I don't think I will send it out to any one and besides it's on my newer laptop but something is wrong with my power cord. So I can not get to it any way.
However he is doing good on his feeding of rice cereal but I dont know if he likes the spoon that much. I just hope that some time this coming week we can try some veggies. The doctor and my mom told me to start with them and not fruit because of how sweet they are. Which I can understand that. So we will have to see how he does with the cereal and then move on from there. The only thing is I am the one that gets to have the food spit out on me and not daddy. By the time Jesse gets home Tav should be eatting veggies, I hope, and when he goes to feed Tav he will get a better reaction unless I have him feed Tav some new veggie or fruit. Which I just might so that Jesse knows what it feels like to get food spit at him...LOL...besides it would be funny to see:P !!
Any way that is how things are going here. So until the next night when I am bored out of my mind and Tav is sleeping...Good night every one. We love and miss you all!!!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Title Unkown...
Ok I am really bad about updating this site. I did not mean to miss out on put up one blog last month but I had some computer issues and well I forgot the website address. Which in turn ment that even if I tried to use Jesse's computer to update this page I was unable. I can say that Auctavine's page did not get updated as well. Which is sad because he is getting so big and cute!!
I know that he has rolled over from his belly to back twice. Once for Jesse and once for me. Mrs Julia (the woman who watches him) says that he gets half way and stops but he likes being on his belly. I am sure that before long he will be rolling over alot. It's hard to believe that this month Tav (short for Auctavine) will be 4 months old. where ever does the time go?
Speaking of time Jesse and I are almost done with our time here in Okinawa, Japan and will be heading back state side come Febuary. I so can not wait!! I miss Walmart, Target, Applebees, and many more places. It will be nice to be able to shop at more then one place and know I am getting something that will fit me. Over here in Japan the size are not like ours in the states.
Jesse gets a kick out of me trying on clothes because these woman have no curves. So when I try on a shurt it makes my boobs look bigger then they really are. Which it is funny but also very upsetting because it makes one feel over weight. I am not over weight but the clothes off base make me think I am. Not only that but the selection of clothes to pick from on base for Tav, Jesse and myself is small.
That is why well over half of Tav's clothes are from the states. Thanks to every one who has sent him clothes. We should have enough clothes for him to last us till we get back. Which I can not wait to go shopping at different stores for him or us. It will be nice to shop in a country where I can understand what I am buying and pay for it with american money.
Over here we have to exchange our american money for yen when we shop off base or even pay our rent. We have been living off base for almost two years now and have been married for almost that long. Crazy how fast time goes. It feels like just yesterday we got married when I think about it. It also feels like Tav was just born but I know its just how much those memories mean to me. Thats why they feel so fresh in my mind.
I am so lucky to have such wonderful memories like that to think about or dream about. Which speaking of dreaming its late here and I have a busy day tomorrow. I am going to help one of our friends get some things to the flea market and get the laundry washed before Jesse packs his bag for this deployment coming up. I should get off and head to bed. This is the first time in a while that I have had time to sit and type about any and every thing.
Reason for that is because Jesse had to go back to work :( and Tav is sleeping :) like a good boy. Tav should be waking up soon for a bottle but I am not going to wake him. I will let him get up on his own. Well on that note I am going to get off and get ready for bed. Later people.
I will try to write more but can not promise any thing!!!
I know that he has rolled over from his belly to back twice. Once for Jesse and once for me. Mrs Julia (the woman who watches him) says that he gets half way and stops but he likes being on his belly. I am sure that before long he will be rolling over alot. It's hard to believe that this month Tav (short for Auctavine) will be 4 months old. where ever does the time go?
Speaking of time Jesse and I are almost done with our time here in Okinawa, Japan and will be heading back state side come Febuary. I so can not wait!! I miss Walmart, Target, Applebees, and many more places. It will be nice to be able to shop at more then one place and know I am getting something that will fit me. Over here in Japan the size are not like ours in the states.
Jesse gets a kick out of me trying on clothes because these woman have no curves. So when I try on a shurt it makes my boobs look bigger then they really are. Which it is funny but also very upsetting because it makes one feel over weight. I am not over weight but the clothes off base make me think I am. Not only that but the selection of clothes to pick from on base for Tav, Jesse and myself is small.
That is why well over half of Tav's clothes are from the states. Thanks to every one who has sent him clothes. We should have enough clothes for him to last us till we get back. Which I can not wait to go shopping at different stores for him or us. It will be nice to shop in a country where I can understand what I am buying and pay for it with american money.
Over here we have to exchange our american money for yen when we shop off base or even pay our rent. We have been living off base for almost two years now and have been married for almost that long. Crazy how fast time goes. It feels like just yesterday we got married when I think about it. It also feels like Tav was just born but I know its just how much those memories mean to me. Thats why they feel so fresh in my mind.
I am so lucky to have such wonderful memories like that to think about or dream about. Which speaking of dreaming its late here and I have a busy day tomorrow. I am going to help one of our friends get some things to the flea market and get the laundry washed before Jesse packs his bag for this deployment coming up. I should get off and head to bed. This is the first time in a while that I have had time to sit and type about any and every thing.
Reason for that is because Jesse had to go back to work :( and Tav is sleeping :) like a good boy. Tav should be waking up soon for a bottle but I am not going to wake him. I will let him get up on his own. Well on that note I am going to get off and get ready for bed. Later people.
I will try to write more but can not promise any thing!!!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The past month has been crazy....
We have been so busy this past month that its crazy. On the weekends we are lucky to get our laundry done with how tired we are. Jesse and I have been working alot. Jesse more then me only because one of us needs to take care of Tav (short for Auctavine). There was one week when Jesse only saw Tav for about a total of four hours and me a total of twelve hours. Some of that time I was sleeping.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Auctavine's web page
I totally forgot to tell all that Auctavine has his own web page where he tells how big he has gotten and what is new with him. All the updates are made on the 10th of every month and tell what he has done this past month. If you go to the website please sign his guestbook so we know who has been keeping up with him. The website is http://www.babysites.com/sites/horstmannfamily/
I made this website for our family who is not able to see us. I figure it would help you all know what is going on with him and how big he is getting. Jesse and I are very blessed to have such a cute and loving little boy. Please take a look and see what Auctavine has been up too. The next update to his page will be September 10th and I will put some new pictures up too!!
Love you all.
I made this website for our family who is not able to see us. I figure it would help you all know what is going on with him and how big he is getting. Jesse and I are very blessed to have such a cute and loving little boy. Please take a look and see what Auctavine has been up too. The next update to his page will be September 10th and I will put some new pictures up too!!
Love you all.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Been Busy
So it was brougth to my attention that we have not been on here to post for a while and well the truth is we have been busy ever since Auctavine was born. Since June 10th till now Jesse and I have been learning how to care for our little baby boy. Which I will say has been fun and fustrating all at the same time.
When we first brought him home we had very little idea on what it was going to be like. We are however lucky to have a baby who sleeps good at night and only wakes up a few times. That is unless he is not feeling well and then one of us (usually mommy) ends up sleeping with him on the sofa. It is so cute to see daddy sleeping with Auctavine.
But the best part of being parents is seeing him grow. He is just over two months and all ready you can see his personality. He is so funny. I love when he smiles. It is the cutest little smile ever. Jesse says he smiles more for me but I don't think that is true. I am always seeing him smile at his dad. Which happens alot because Jesse is always making some silly face. Any way I have to get going and clean house.
Between work and taking care of the boys, I feel like I have no time get the house really clean. Jesse helps by taking out the trash and doing dishes but the house just feels really dirty to me, so I am going to clean it while Auctavine is sleeping and Jesse is still at work. Later people.
When we first brought him home we had very little idea on what it was going to be like. We are however lucky to have a baby who sleeps good at night and only wakes up a few times. That is unless he is not feeling well and then one of us (usually mommy) ends up sleeping with him on the sofa. It is so cute to see daddy sleeping with Auctavine.
But the best part of being parents is seeing him grow. He is just over two months and all ready you can see his personality. He is so funny. I love when he smiles. It is the cutest little smile ever. Jesse says he smiles more for me but I don't think that is true. I am always seeing him smile at his dad. Which happens alot because Jesse is always making some silly face. Any way I have to get going and clean house.
Between work and taking care of the boys, I feel like I have no time get the house really clean. Jesse helps by taking out the trash and doing dishes but the house just feels really dirty to me, so I am going to clean it while Auctavine is sleeping and Jesse is still at work. Later people.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
One month left
Only a month left till our little baby boy Auctavine is born. We are both excited and scared with it being our first. My father will be here June 16 for his birth. It will be nice to have Jesse and my dad there to help me through the Labor and Delivery. That is something I am not looking forward to. From all the woman I know who have kids Labor and Delivery is not something any of them look forward to.
I am 36 weeks this week and start to see the OB/GYN every week. I am only guessing that they start to check me to see how close I am to Labor and Delivery. I just pray I don't go too early and that I don't go late. Jesse is deployed and will not be home till June 3 and I really want for my dad to be here when I do go in to labor. It would just be nice to have the sport from both of them and help from my dad once Auctavine is here.
I do have to say that I have enjoyed most of my pregnancy. The only thing that I am not liking is the mood swings. With Jesse being gone I have knoticed them alot more. He keeps me from going out of my mind with them. He will see one coming before I do and he does his best to make me smile. Which is nice. I miss that right now but June 3 he will be home and I will have a big old smile on my face:).
Other then that every thing is going the way it should durning the pregnancy. The only thing that sucks is having Gestational Diabetes. They had me on a dite but they did not like where my blood sugar levels were so they put me on some medication. Since I have been on Glyburide they have me seeing the nurse just so they can track Auctavine's heart beat and movements. Last week when I went they told me I was having contractions but I did not feel them. Hope that is not how I am when it is time for Auctavine to be born. Other then that he is not a big baby. Well to me he is not big. I only have my baby belly. I don't look like I have gained any weight in other places but my belly. Which is nice, I guess.
I don't know of any thing eles to talk about right now because Auctavine is the only news going on in our lives right now. We are just getting the last minute things together but I don't think we will ever be 100% ready for him. Is any one ready when there first child comes??
I am 36 weeks this week and start to see the OB/GYN every week. I am only guessing that they start to check me to see how close I am to Labor and Delivery. I just pray I don't go too early and that I don't go late. Jesse is deployed and will not be home till June 3 and I really want for my dad to be here when I do go in to labor. It would just be nice to have the sport from both of them and help from my dad once Auctavine is here.
I do have to say that I have enjoyed most of my pregnancy. The only thing that I am not liking is the mood swings. With Jesse being gone I have knoticed them alot more. He keeps me from going out of my mind with them. He will see one coming before I do and he does his best to make me smile. Which is nice. I miss that right now but June 3 he will be home and I will have a big old smile on my face:).
Other then that every thing is going the way it should durning the pregnancy. The only thing that sucks is having Gestational Diabetes. They had me on a dite but they did not like where my blood sugar levels were so they put me on some medication. Since I have been on Glyburide they have me seeing the nurse just so they can track Auctavine's heart beat and movements. Last week when I went they told me I was having contractions but I did not feel them. Hope that is not how I am when it is time for Auctavine to be born. Other then that he is not a big baby. Well to me he is not big. I only have my baby belly. I don't look like I have gained any weight in other places but my belly. Which is nice, I guess.
I don't know of any thing eles to talk about right now because Auctavine is the only news going on in our lives right now. We are just getting the last minute things together but I don't think we will ever be 100% ready for him. Is any one ready when there first child comes??
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